My room mate locked my husband in her room!!!!!!!!!!

So, I have this friend who stated that people replace husbands and kids with pets... well I disagree, but this got me thinking... I have two cats and a dog, so which pet is the husband? Hmmm... not the dog because he is clingy, childish, and happy no matter what. Of the two cats, one disappears outside and wanders off all over the neighborhood and comes home for food and shelter... hmmm... maybe he is the typical husband after all... but my other cat is the home body, cuddle bug, and he is an attention hound... so being my favorite, I picked him. So, I came home, and being the typical wife, I didn't even think about Petey, my cat. I went on the computer and then crawled into bed and hear "mew." Then it occurs to me... I haven't seen the cuddle bug all night! So, I get up and wander around not seeing my cat. Well, my roommate always shuts her door and I thought, I bet he was under the bed and she locked him in... sure enough... there was my cat. I let him out, and rather then food or the litter box he wanders around and mews... so I called him to me, cuddled a bit and pushed him away. He then went about his business.

Speaking of my roommate, she took my joke well... and posted the eviction letter on the cuboards. The next day she made me breakfast/brunch, and checked it off the list. NOW... if I would have known she would joke back like that I would have added more to the list!!!!!!!

Work... I am not going crazy after all....

Cognative Thinking skills... Feeling.. stressed... thinking.. work is always walking on egg shells.. I am worried about making my co-workers paranoia or causing a new rumor to start that is untrue.

Feeling level... stressed... 50% level of belief in my thoughts... GOING UP every day... 50% I suppose.

Why is it going up... lets consider the facts... hmmm which cognative skills to use... compare and contrast.. defense attorney... ahh... I will just list them and play prosecutor... not the correct way to do cognative skills, but it is my blog!!!!!!!
So I work with nine officers total. Two are day staff and are awesome, wonderful guys with weekends off, day shift, and close to retirement. Two are midnight staff and usually work alone and have little to do with the politics because they avoid it. 5 people are on my watch. Of those five.. one is under investigation and not working right now, I am the second... that leaves three left. Of those three, one wants to transfer to midnights to avoid the politics and trouble, one wants to take a part time job at the kitchen, and one wants to transfer to a different facility. WOW... the stress isn't just in my head. I am not crazy after all....

So back to cognative thinking skills, my thoughts are proven... sort of.. there is stress at work anyway... so how do I fix it? Hmm.. I can wait until they quit or move, and I work with new people. I can take the challenge of working with a stressful environment/people and learning careful communication. As far as administration and politics go, I have no problems with them... as other people do... ahhh the waiting game... having my feelings validated makes me feel better... that means other people want change to, so I am not in this alone!

Random thoughts...

You know, I was driving home last night and there was a lot of deer out.... as always. I keep trying to hit one, and I could, but then I decided it would be better to put a kangaroo rack on the front of my car first... So, I was driving and I saw this orange glow towards the ground... I thought what kind of animal is that and I stared and stared, and HIT THE BRAKES!!!!!!!!!!! Two feet from three deer in the middle of the road I stopped... and one ran off, and two casually walked off of no concern to them. You ever consider it from the deers prospective though. Mama deer... and baby deer... Baby, "Mom.. car.. car... car coming.... Mom... car......." The baby deer then runs frantically around in circles. Mom, "don't worry about it, they won't hurt you.... just ignore them and stay calm." Then they stand on the road... and the baby deer stays come, ignoring the car coming and SPLAT!!!!!!!!!!! So the next year the Mom goes... CAR!!!!!!! Car............ CAR!!!!!!!!!!! and rounds frantically out of the ditch and on the road....... SPLAT!!!!!!!!!!

Then there is indoor plumbing... ever think about it.. truly... who came up with it? What a mess would it be if we didn't have it... how did indoor plumbing evolve.. I never saw a show on that!
So, I went outside with the dog today and threw his tennis ball. Question... how many times do I have to throw the tennis ball to equal a walk?
I also cleaned my house today throughly... that takes a while. I must have been in a good mood to do that!!!!!!! None the less, I thought, hmmm... maybe I should put an eviction notice on my room mates door, You are being evicted and have two hours to move out, unless of course, you clean the bathrooms, vacuum, do the dishes, dust, and windex the windows, oh and cook me a meal too. Do you think that will go over well? She cooked breakfast for her boyfriend and didn't cook me any.... Hrmmppp... (hopes everyone realizes I am joking) I may have to try the eviction thing though... *pauses blog and gets right on that* We will see how well this goes over, of course I shouldn't have cleaned the house first.... oh well...
What else... oh, I am reading this new book on Cognative Therapy.. and it is really good, intense, and you need to concentrate... a lot of good stuff! My brief overview of it... ask a lot of questions when helping someone, and if they ask a question, answer with a question, let them counsel themselves and come up with a solution. I know some friends that would be really good at this stuff....

The negative cycle had started again!!!!!!!

Alright, so I have this theory that life has its ups and downs to make us stronger people. A few weeks ago, multiple problems came up even after I was thinking it can't get much worse. In the end, nothing major went wrong, and it created quite a funny story of one bad thing after another... in succession. Well, I had a few okay weeks, and now.... well, back to character building. Who said I wanted any more character building? First work... problems with the offenders, and everyone being paranoid with everyone else.... investigations at work, short staffed... but that has gotten better. At home my dog and cats kept making my house a disaster... I had problems with some friends that are now straightened out, and now I have a few old friends I haven't talked to in a while that I am hanging out with again. At work, a new problem came up... can't get halloween off... I had plans, but I cancelled those, and now I find out that perhaps I can have the day off... I will find that out today, and I also got invited to a halloween party a friend of mine is throwing, and of course I have nothing interesting to wear any more... I may have to get creative. I keep trying to fix each problem, and I do, but new ones keep popping up. Yesterday, I walked the dog, played with him, bought some new toys and new chew things, and this morning.......... my couch cushion was tore up. So now I need a new love seat and couch becuase I like my house to look at least nice... the dog is expensive and apparently I don't have enough time for him... solution, get rid of the dog. I am not angry but resigned... I probably won't get rid of the dog, but truly I am seriously contemplating it... and I would give him away if my Mom could take him.

Alright, so what next, bring it on... I am ready...... and even more ready for the positive cycle to begin!!!

Pin pricks...

One pin prick at a time, I am wondering if coming back up here was worth while. Friends and family wise... despite some troubles with friends... it is WAY worth it in those respects... life is interesting. I bought a house and I am here to stay, but boy do I miss my old job!!!!!!!! I actually loved working with the mental health kids with severe problems, and awesome professional co-workers... Why is it that I can't have both worlds? Life is a trial, and we are to make it better and better, but I am starting to understand why criminal justice personel are more likely to become alcoholics. I get along with everyone for the most part, but you can't make everyone happy. At work, if I make a joke, one person will laugh, one gets paranoid about what I am saying in their own implied meanings, one scowls and is offended, one gets ticked off, one is bored with the whole conversation, and one is entertained. Okay, so that wasn't a real life situation, but it gets my point across. Dealing with so many personalities with co-workers and offenders at work... I have never ever dealt with anything like it. If it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger, right? Like I said working with the mental health kids seems like a walk in the park now, although I must admit I usually enjoyed going to work at Red Wing, it was a great job, one of my favorite jobs thus far! I MISS RED WING!!!!!!! Well, I miss working there, not living there. Now, I run into so many problems... not one person... not one place... just small pin pricks here and there, but with so many it gets old after a while...
I apologize to my readers, this isn't my typical fun loving blog, but a little insight to the fact that I am human too, and have to deal with all the difficulties in life, hopefully I can learn from my difficulties.

Friendship is a two way street!

You know, I am a pretty easy going person, and I believe most of my friends know this. It takes a lot to tick me off, or even get me slightly upset. I believe only about two people in my whole life have gotten me really upset before, and I still talk to those people (even though some I probably shouldn't). I am more likely to get mad at myself then at others because I can only control myself and not others. If someone ticks me off I am the one that choose to hang out with them, I choose to make them a friend, or perhaps I did something that they reacted to. Most people hold grudges or internalize what other people have done/feel, but I figure, grudges aren't worth it, just do what you need to do to fix the problem on your side. Of course this is easy for me because I am not a very emotional person by any means.

I recently posted a bulletin asking how do you be a good friend. You know, I always thought I was pretty intelligent, but that doesn't stop me from being dense at times. Most of my friends commented to the bulletin stating something to the effect that I have always been a great friend. Most of my friends aren't on myspace, and I know some times I do make mistakes. Like when I was in Red Wing, my friends came down to visit me two or three times from Bemidji, and while I tried to get up to Bemidji I never made it or something came up... I know excuses, not good. I did make it there once this summer. I also need to get up to the middle of no where to visit some friends past Buyck because they have been great at calling and inviting me, and I have been busy this summer. I was going to make an attempt this vacation period, but they went out of state. All of my excuses don't cut it though, a person can always make time. For the most part, I am great about being there when a friend needs help, calling, bringing over food, letting people know they are appreciated, listening (some times I get distracted and can be bad at this), and whenever something new or exciting happens in someones life I am there to join in. For years I have invested a ton of time and had a lot of fun. In my life there was little new going on, so it was fun and easy to help people move, celebrate a new child, send funny cards and pranks, help friends in trouble, celebrate a new car or house... live vicariously.. :). It is the great part of friendship celebrating with others and helping out. This year, I had a lot go on in my life. I moved, got a new job, got a new car, a dog, and got a new house. When I asked for help moving... well... me and my Mom did it because everyone was too busy. When I asked for people to come over, three came over without being pushed and bugged to no end. When I told everyone about my new dog they listened for a bit and zoned out, and never made an attempt to stop by. With most of my friends this is understandable, they are busy with boyfriends, houses, jobs, children, and I truly understand. I have always been free and able to help out, and I have been there, but after years I finally have realized that with some of my friends, my friendships are more of a one way street, which brings me to a new thought... now what do I do with these friendships, drift off to better ones? What do I want to do about this? A few of my friends I have talked to about the one way street before I did get ticked off, and we hashed it out... others, well... it is a tricky subject that puts people on defense... so what... walk away see if they bother putting in an effort after I have invested years into the friendship? It is hard because obviously with the realization I have made some things will be different between me and that friend. Like I said I am not one to hold much of any emotions towards the situation, but it will sit there in the back of my head now that it is acknowleged, and luckily I am a very open and forgiving person, so if things change in the friendship I am more then happy to forgive and forget.

Pranks!

Pranks
So, I got bored this week with all the time off, and decided to remind a few friends I was thinking about them, what a good friend!!!!! :) Heeeheee... unfortunately it didn't turn out as I planned. I sent a ugly horse picture to Laurie, a friend of mine, and commented that the horse was in her price range, I believe she pledged to get even.. I am waiting... as long as no miniture donkeys show up in the pasture! I also had my roommate write a note, and I put a ugly skeleton on the grill of my brother's car. Unfortunately I told my Mom about the prank, and she told my brother... :( So much for telling my Mom my pranks..... of course I do have one more out their for my friends in Bemidji, and we shall see what happens with that one. You see what happens when I get bored? So, anyone wanna give me their address.... :) I am sweet and innocent, honest!!!!!!!

Round up at the Bar V Bar Ranch

So I just got back from the ranch... shew... showers are a luxury, let me tell you! I got there Friday night in long johns, shirt, sweat shirt, and I quickly added a vest, a coat, and a duster, along with gloves and a hat. When we pulled up the drive we rounded up some cattle alright, they followed us in!!! As we take the hay bales out of the horse trailer, and hurry to grab the horses and get them out, about 60 hungry cattle step closer and closer... ummm... yeah.. get those horses out NOW!!!!! So we pulled the horses out and threw the hey bales back in the trailer, with 60 hungry cattle now about a block away, so we scared them off. Next, the ranch manager comes in and about 40 to 60 head of cattle follow him in, and we chase those ones off too.

We then proceeded to the bunk house after putting the horses away in a corral, and were encouraged to have a few drinks and stay up... oh no... no no no no... I am smarter then that! So, I was the first to slip away a little after nine o'clock, and climb into my sleeping bag still fully clothed, and curl up and fall asleep. At 6 o'clock I see a whole line of horse trailers pull up, and get quickly told to get out of bed. So, I put on the vest, jacket, duster, gloves, and hat, and head out tossing tack on my horse as fast as possible... saddling up and jumping on just as the ranch owner states, "Where is the paid help that semi will be here at nine to pick up the cattle." So he goes down to the bunk house on his horse and kicks and pounds on the wall... "Get up!" Then someone comments, "there are some hunters in there to." He comments, "Well they can get up too!" (The paid help was the one that stayed up the latest and drank, I could see this one coming) So off we go running up the hill and round up cattle that were only like 10 blocks away from the corrals... easy pickings.. across the river and up the hill and into the corral. Next, we round up some more further out... through the river and up a few hills and to the corral. Then as we were putting those in the corral, the rest came in on there own!!!!!!!!!! :( Where is all the fun.. all we were missing was one bull... :( So, we rode around, but with the snow we saw no cattle tracks, and the horses were a slippin and a sliding... The next day the semi trucks came in at 7 o'clock the next morning, and we were up watching as the last of the cattle got hauled away.

To tell you the truth it was easy pickings, and only one person got bucked off in a river and I didn't get to see it! I also learned the warmth was none existant, and after a while, cold didn't seem to matter much... Of course, now that I am home, boy am I sweating to death, and in jeans and a t-shirt none the less, what a luxury!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, it is off to the Bar V Bar Ranch!

It is now time to leave to round up the cattle... hmmm... spurs, check. ariats, check. boots, check. long johns, check. carhart, check. spurs, check. warm clothing, check. saddle, check. bridle, check. spurs, check. long johns, check. duster, check. saddle pad, check.

Make up? Nah.... who needs it?!?!? Of course, I did tell the manager of the ranch I wanted a discount on trail rides because there was no cute dudes there. He said here I am. I said, "I was thinking of a newer, less used model!" To which his wife laughed, and I was assured that some young, "dude ranchers" would be at the round up... we shall see about that...??!?!?

Oh yeah, Medication, check. Horses, check., Camper, check. Long Johns, check. Spurs, check. First-aid kit, check.
Some things you just have to double check.

Why did I want to become an adult? Or should I say a zoo keeper!!!

You know, when I was young I use to play adult, and think it was great!!! The pets were great companions, and any problems and it was "Mom, the cat puked!" Then of course, it was, "well, clean it up!" I didn't mind so much then because my Mom took care of it half the time, I just played...
As an adult, I come home from work, and it is as if the cat exploded... a mess every where... he ate WAY to much... Ugh.... So I use half a roll of paper towels, and head to the garbage only to notice kitty litter and "Almond Rocca" (use your imagination) on my carpet that the dog had decided was a great treat out of the litter box... *grimace* So I clean up some of the mess, and notice mud and hair on my kitchen floor... now where did that come from... Dog, play with your toys... on second thought... there was fluff from the dogs sleeping bag on my floor and tore apart toys on the living room carpet... *sighs* So, I cleaned up some of that... and went to sleep, there is always tomorrow.
I wake up, and my horse needs to be exercised, so I head over and try not to repeat the previous day. The previous day my dog was bouncing around like a mad man, and I didn't want to ride my horse and then come home to walk the dog, so I thought why not take both out. So I head over to the barn, put my dog in the arena and go to grab my horse, only to see my dog squeeze through a tiny space in the arena and join me in the pasture... OKAY, DUMB DOG... your going to learn to respect the horses, for sure!!! So I grab my horse, and the other seven horses see the dog, and my dog can BOOK IT let me tell you!!!!!! The dog took off, for the barn at top speed with seven horses chasing him at top speed as well... luckily he made it in one piece, and he decided the pasture wasn't a good place to be. So, I took the horse out and the dog followed cautiously about 60 acres, then through the woods, and then out to the 60 acre field... the dog took one look at the horse following and took off at full speed for the house. Now, I have to worry about the highway and the dog crossing it, so from three blocks behind I kick my horse down, and across 60 acres we flew... the dog ran in the yard and behind the house, and peeked out...Shew... all is well... so I put the horse away and took my dog home, and he was STILL HYPER.... *grimace*.
So, today I took my horse out, walked/jogged the dog, scrubbed the floor on hands and knees, swept, and well, vacuuming will have to wait as my roommate is still sleeping. So, now it is off to work to walk the offenders.... :) On the plus side, who needs an exercise routine... and I get to look forward to tonights "surprises" when I get home....

Becoming the perfect person

About three weeks ago, I went to the North Shore and stopped in at Barnes and Noble in Duluth on my way through, and naturally I grabbed a book on counseling and a book on horses. Naturally, to become perfect I have to learn more about counseling where I work and on my outside hobbies, horseback riding. I also bought some cheap books that had personality tests in them, why not? One of the test in particular was quite in depth, and I spent an hour answering question after question, until I couldn't wait any longer to read the results... I mean once you hit that hour mark you are thinking... next... answers please...

After an hour of carefully answering each question, the results read, in a three sentence answer that I was "balanced" WHAT?!???!??! Balanced leaves little room to work there... So what are my personality flaws? Wait, don't answer that, it could be dangerous ground, and I am well aware of some of them..... but still................

So, I decided to spend my time reading my counseling book instead... and I read and read... and read... and I still haven't figured out if I learned anything from that book, other then the fact that I need to order a different book! It is a decent book, but all it says is to learn something about the person you are counseling focus on how you react to them... and it goes on and on about the counselor and never says how to use your reactions to the person or the problems you might identify to help out the other person. Usually the book recommended that the counselor refer the client to someone else. If I am reading the book, why would I want to refer someone else after I finally identified the problem.... hello, I want to try to help them!!!!! Yes, I know, some times referrals are needed. So all I am learning is some statistics, and how to manage my feelings and thoughts better if I react to the person I am counseling... which usually I don't... hmmm... I shall keep reading... but back to becoming the perfect person..... I could start by ending my ramblings and stop switching directions, but no.... why bother....

So after finishing the personality test and reading a book that was of little help, I tried to figure out what "flaw" to work on in my life. What people don't realize is we all have flaws and things to work on constantly, and some of the best people we know and might consider heros, are people that are constantly trying to better themselves, are open-minded, and willing to take a look at what other people tell them. Our whole life we will always have something to work on, and I find that I am happy searching through life and constantly working on becoming the "perfect person." No, I don't think that will ever happen, but I will keep trying to better myself because by working on my "flaws" I naturally find better ways to handle my emotions (I know, not often a worry for me, I am more down to earth... but emotions are always involved some where I think?!?!), deal with people, deal with situations, and live life happily. We can also learn from almost anyone around us if we give it a chance... most people are better at something or some personality trait... etc... if we pay attention. If you admire a trait in someone else, why not look at your own way of doing things and maybe correct it or add to it?

So the flaw I decided to work on was validation. For every one positive we hear, we as humans, hear ten negatives. We are also ten times more likely to believe something negative someone says about us. Human nature also dictates that we all want to be useful and hear we are doing well. I hung out with a few friends and co-workers who are really good at saying stuff like, you are really good at...., you did a great job with...., and I liked how you handled this situations, can you show me how you did that. Well, I often appreciate people, or think they look nice, etc., or have some compliment floating in my head, but I only say something to the person about 25 to 50 percent of the time.... why? Most people have these thoughts, even driving by a house... wow, nice halloween decorations, or so and so got a nice car... but we rarely say anything, and validation is so important in society... very important, without it, a lot of problems arise...
If you don't believe me, you can borrow my counseling book that talks about how you react to the client because they need acceptance.... and you have to manage your own feelings as a counselor and understand and respond to that......:)

Sheep Ranch in ON!!!!!!!

Well, I finally got some good news, and after the horrible weeks I had last month, I should have a bunch of positives coming my way... or maybe the bad was to neutralize the good I had prior to those two weeks... who knows, but I take what I can get.
I guessed well, and picked the right weekend off so that I can help round up the cattle at the sheep ranch. YES, cattle, NO SHEEP thank you very much... that is just the name of the cattle ranch, Sheep Ranch... don't ask me... maybe they call it the sheep ranch to keep outsiders away, who knows? In lineu of this revelation, all I have been doing is riding my mare so she is fit for hours and hours of rough riding... course if she is out of shape, she can't buck me off, as happens to most of the riders at least once during round up. My mare hasn't bucked yet out of having a temper tantrum, and she has yet to get me off when she has because of getting jugs stuck on her feet etc, so I am not too worried. Last year my Mom took my mare to the round up, and she was one of the FEW who didn't get bucked off... too much excitement, horses, cows, frenzied activities, and the horses are nut cases, and I will love every minute of it... especially watching all the bucking shows, as long as it isn't me being in the show :).