Friendship is a two way street!

You know, I am a pretty easy going person, and I believe most of my friends know this. It takes a lot to tick me off, or even get me slightly upset. I believe only about two people in my whole life have gotten me really upset before, and I still talk to those people (even though some I probably shouldn't). I am more likely to get mad at myself then at others because I can only control myself and not others. If someone ticks me off I am the one that choose to hang out with them, I choose to make them a friend, or perhaps I did something that they reacted to. Most people hold grudges or internalize what other people have done/feel, but I figure, grudges aren't worth it, just do what you need to do to fix the problem on your side. Of course this is easy for me because I am not a very emotional person by any means.

I recently posted a bulletin asking how do you be a good friend. You know, I always thought I was pretty intelligent, but that doesn't stop me from being dense at times. Most of my friends commented to the bulletin stating something to the effect that I have always been a great friend. Most of my friends aren't on myspace, and I know some times I do make mistakes. Like when I was in Red Wing, my friends came down to visit me two or three times from Bemidji, and while I tried to get up to Bemidji I never made it or something came up... I know excuses, not good. I did make it there once this summer. I also need to get up to the middle of no where to visit some friends past Buyck because they have been great at calling and inviting me, and I have been busy this summer. I was going to make an attempt this vacation period, but they went out of state. All of my excuses don't cut it though, a person can always make time. For the most part, I am great about being there when a friend needs help, calling, bringing over food, letting people know they are appreciated, listening (some times I get distracted and can be bad at this), and whenever something new or exciting happens in someones life I am there to join in. For years I have invested a ton of time and had a lot of fun. In my life there was little new going on, so it was fun and easy to help people move, celebrate a new child, send funny cards and pranks, help friends in trouble, celebrate a new car or house... live vicariously.. :). It is the great part of friendship celebrating with others and helping out. This year, I had a lot go on in my life. I moved, got a new job, got a new car, a dog, and got a new house. When I asked for help moving... well... me and my Mom did it because everyone was too busy. When I asked for people to come over, three came over without being pushed and bugged to no end. When I told everyone about my new dog they listened for a bit and zoned out, and never made an attempt to stop by. With most of my friends this is understandable, they are busy with boyfriends, houses, jobs, children, and I truly understand. I have always been free and able to help out, and I have been there, but after years I finally have realized that with some of my friends, my friendships are more of a one way street, which brings me to a new thought... now what do I do with these friendships, drift off to better ones? What do I want to do about this? A few of my friends I have talked to about the one way street before I did get ticked off, and we hashed it out... others, well... it is a tricky subject that puts people on defense... so what... walk away see if they bother putting in an effort after I have invested years into the friendship? It is hard because obviously with the realization I have made some things will be different between me and that friend. Like I said I am not one to hold much of any emotions towards the situation, but it will sit there in the back of my head now that it is acknowleged, and luckily I am a very open and forgiving person, so if things change in the friendship I am more then happy to forgive and forget.