Kids say the darndest things.

While working at my delightful job I always have the most amusing conversations. There isn't a day that goes by the the juvenile delinquents I work with don't say something entertaining that has me in laughing. Now most of these things I will never post because they are not good for your "sensitive constitutions." For instance the conversation I had with one resident about donating to a sperm bank (don't worry it was an appropraite conversation at work, I am very professional, but still I don't need to get into this one).
Well, being I need to keep this blog rather clean shaven, I will tell some of my simpler stories that are not morbid to the average person. After working in my career for a while, you start to think some morbid, twisted stuff is hilarious, where as other people think you have lost your mind. Like the mexican guy who would stand in front of our camera naked and run around from corner to corner, do hand stands, and buzz in to the buble stating "I love you.... I love you.... mwa mwa mwa to our female officers." Of course he didn't know english and the other officers taught him to also say shut your pie whole. I mean that I could watch and break out laughing.... other people....... eeeeeeee........ Great, I think I lost the clean shaven part.
Right, clean shaven. So the other day a Mental Health Resident of mine was telling story after story to the otehr guys in the unit. The other residents became annoyed stating, "Dude, come on, your story has changed like three times..." This resident kept going though, saying "no... I told you ....." Well, I had a wierd quirk come over me and stated, " (resident name here) you need to slow down and get your lies straight." To which the resident replied "uh ah... I ain't never get my lies mixed up." I then stated, "Oh, so you do lie then!" The residnet just stared at me after I said this, not knowing what to say!
That very same day I was talking to one of the guys that had completed our program and was suppose to leave shortly. I stated to this young man, "You know, I have been watching you and I noticed something. No matter what you are truly thinking or what you are feeling, you say what people want to hear." To this the resident replied, "How do you know?" I answered, "Well, I pay attention, and the eyes are the window to the soul. I suppose it can be a good or a bad thing." The resident then replied, "Bad for me I guess." Hmmmmm... does that mean he isn't going to do well in the community?